Maturity

I am not nearly as mature as I thought. Also, lots of people 20-35 years older than me are also not very mature. I'm discovering that a lot of folks are bitter, ugly, scorned, and then even more bitter inside. I have my days where I wallow and feel very sorry for myself and feel like the victim, the target, the "all about me" days, you know. I could never live in that state though for some extended period of time. It would be miserable. Unfortunately, so many of the people in our lives do live in that state and it's always bubbling under the surface. It is so ugly and hurtful when it comes out.

Here's my announcement to the world that refuses to take the blinders off. JESUS is the only reason I have anything. My LOVING GOD is the only reason I am alive. OBEDIENCE to CHRIST is the only way I've found to make anything go "right" in my life. It is not because I'm "likeable," "peppy," rich, blonde, funny, a suckup, fake, cute, lucky, or even a particularly good person that anything good has ever happened to me. On the other side of that coin, it is only because of the evil living on this earth, the spirit of meanness and pain, the devil that lives here even in the hearts of men that any of the horrible things in this life have happened to me. It wasn't because I was bad, I was "unlikeable," I was unlucky, ugly, fat, or brunette. I have to remember that when mean people make my life unbearable or when it seems that the ugly hearted get nowhere in life, that God could turn their lives around just as easily in a moment. More bad things will happen in this life and I will not blame myself or "the universe" nor will I give credit to myself or the universe when blessings come. So, thank you Jesus for helping me to daily remove bitterness from my heart and anger from my soul that I may live in your light rather than darkness. Help me bring that light with me into the dark places where I find so much cruelty and selfishness so that I shall not be dragged into it!