Changes A'Brew

According to that wheel thingie bopper magiggy I am 14 weeks today, how did that happen? I'm counting my weeks on Fridays. Either way, this week is 14! We've now heard little bebe's heartbeat on two lovely occasions. I know I didn't post after my last appointment, but I did send an update on Facebook to let folks know everything was okay. God also gave me a great opportunity to have mercy for the plite of my midwife's apprentice. She was so sweet and caring towards me when I came in to hear the heartbeat that second time and so reassuring. She explained how we use this technology of the doppler to help us feel safe and secure, not to create fear. I liked that explanation and then after a few minutes of searching, she found the baby's heartbeat echoing right behind my own. They were beating together, one fast and one slow. It was very precious and Jason was there to hear it along with both of the kids!

So, after that visit and then today I had a full prenatal appointment, I really like my midwife's apprentice. I'm just going to call her my midlady-in-waiting (MIW)! ;) It's a good thing too, because the midwife, Mary, was there this evening and explained how she is kind of taking a back seat at this point in order to allow her apprentice the experience she needs to work through her requirements. I feel and felt comfortable with both of them and I think I may have needed this initial rough start to develop a better bond and connection with my MIW. Done!

Ok so for changes a'brew. I got the promotion at work!! YAY! Dread!! More yay, and then some more dread. I am absolutely devastated and heartbroken to once again be torn away from my children. The promotion will put me back full time in the office. It will also put me in an assistant manager position and then I'll transition to a supervisor in August/September when I return from maternity leave. I was not really intending on heading back to my high school dreams of being an independent career woman, but God has given me this opportunity to provide for my family in a way that I honestly didn't think possible. He also gave me a whole year at home with my sweet babies where I got to enjoy them and love them and really bond with motherhood. I fell into it so quickly with both at once that I really feel like I needed this year. There was a time after Addie was born that I actually cried when Jason left me home alone with them. I felt helpless and almost afraid. I am fearless and confident now in my ability to do EVERYTHING! I remember the fear of not being able to keep house, have time with the kids, cook, grocery shop, and find time for myself when I went back to work after Addie. Turns out, I really couldn't do everything the way I wanted, but I've consistently lowered my expectations until the goals are more attainable! In this year I have also seen the downside to being a "work from home mom," and it isn't the same as a stay at home mom. You have all the jobs and expectations as a SAHM plus the expecations of completing your job. I have excelled more so on the job end, hence the promotion...some days I felt guilty that the kids weren't at daycare. Others I felt like they were the luckiest kids ever to have me for a mom.

I start on January 3rd, so I have set some very high goals for the next two weeks or so. I need to potty train Addie, teach her basic colors and how to count to five, and how to sing the ABCs. I need to teach Freddie all of his lower case letters, how to count to 20, and how to read. I also need to reorganize the linen closet, clean the entire house, finish Christmas shopping, paint Freddie's bedroom, bake cookies with the kids, turn 28, visit with my brother over Christmas, wean Addie from the pacifier, sew inumerable projects, knit inumerable projects, buy a wardrobe for work that will fit my ever expanding waistline, send Christmas cards, and plan Addie's birthday party and send invitations. I think all of that is possible, don't you? Who wants to come over and help?