Poor Publicity

Tonight was supposed to be my second appointment with my midwife at Birthworks. I have been very excited about this appointment, hoping very much to hear our baby's heartbeat for the first time. We got there about 15 minutes early, which is so out of the ordinary for us. Found out that my midwife was called out of town for an emergency family situation. Since I hadn't received a phone call to reschedule, we all assumed that her apprentice would be coming. We waited about 30 minutes or so and then someone decided to call her for us, no answer. They texted, no reply. So, we sat and chatted and thought about where to get some dinner. Then it got to be about 6:30 and the lady waiting in the office explained that she an another midwife were headed to a home visit in Cabot at 7:00 and she would have to lock up. I felt a bit silly, but I was close to tears over not getting to try for the heartbeat again. Thankfully, the woman was very kind and mentioned that the other midwife would be there soon and we could always ask her if she could take a listen for us. A few minutes later this lady calls and explains how her husband was running late and that she is running late and so on. Despite all this, she was perfectly willing to give it a try when she got there at 6:45 or so. We tried for almost 10 minutes and nothing. No little heartbeat thundering away. I am trying not to worry or be too sad. I know it is still early to hear it on the doppler and I know that I have quite a few extra layers to get through. Still, after the crazy awareness and hypervigilance over my pregnancy with Addie and watching her grow from a fetal pole and yolc sac to a bean, to a south park baby, to a miniature person, all the way to a big baby girl....this is unbearable!

I shouldn't say it is poor publicity, because the ladies that were there helped me so much and were so kind. It is also apparently extremely out of character for the apprentice gal to be late or unorganized in any way. I hope she's alright! I also hope that my midwife's family is okay, that our baby is okay, and that we can reschedule for next week and maybe try again. You can hope with me if you like. It is just such a reassuring sound for so many reasons, and a beautiful moment that I was so looking forward to sharing with Jason tonight. I got home, managed not to cry, put my sweet angel sugar babies to bed, made chocolate chip cookies, and after eating 4 of them with a big glass of milk that had little ice chips in it...and a little blogging, I'm ready for bed!