I obviously rely on the opinions of others way too heavily. Hence, this question.
Which is better?
A) Kids at home with a loving but working mom that honestly does not have more than two hours or so of "quality time" to spend with them each day and at least 3 days out of the 6 day work week is quite stressed.
B) Kids in a structured daycare with constant attention and play with other kids from 630-530 every day with an hour or so of quality time with parents in the evening and then all day on weekends.
The kids are starting to notice my increased work load when I get busy and they get antsy. They are getting terrible at entertaining themselves and there is a lot more sibling rivalry these days. I hear screaming from Addie and whining from Freddie constantly. I mean, there are wonderful times of course. Just watching them run up and down the hallway and hearing their sweet barefeet splat across the hardwood floor is enough to make me choose to be at home no matter what. I just worry sometimes that I'm somehow not fulfilling all of their needs or that I'm not giving them enough attention. Working from home is a wonderful blessing and an answered prayer. I guess I'm not doubting it, I just need some type of affirmation that this is actually a better thing for my kids! ;) Oh, feel free to comment if you believe otherwise, that's what the question is for. I may need some new words of wisdom to help me through this time and to broaden my perspective on the whole thing rather than just seeking people who agree with me.
It would probably also help if I knew any other work from home moms. My examples of SAHMs are truly that, and it isn't fair to compare myself with that example (or any, but it's my womanly nature to do so). I'm going to a potluck for the Otter Creek Women's Club, Group, I don't know. It's next month and I am hoping to meet some more ladies in the area. I also have some ideas, shocking I know! I'm trying to organize a kid friendly Trick-or-Treat this year by having people sign up to agree to no scary costumes/decorations/music, frightening signs, la la la and give them
specific colored balloons to put on their mailboxes to indicate to families with young children that this is a house that won't traumatize their kids! We'll see what folks think.
5 comments:
Manda, as a SAHM, I often feel the same as you. I am so busy with the keeping up of the home that I don't feel like I get to have lots of quality time with the kiddos. I don't think we're THAT different. There are days when I sit down in the evening and think about how much I missed because of laundry, dishes, etc. I think it is part of motherhood in general, although I do think your strain is even more so than mine because you can't tell work to wait like you can the laundry. I think your kids being at home with you is good. I think sibling rivalry is okay too--they're learning how to deal with life, and they're getting to watch you as their example as well. I think that is a gift.
Thanks lady. You're right though, Manda, because something else would always be taking up time. I just don't actually keep up the house until guests are coming and Jason does laundry and dishes mostly. There really isn't enough time to finish my work, feed the kids, AND do laundry! ;)
Hey girl, I'm just not getting to this. My cousin and I were talking the other day about this very thing. She is a SAHM who works from home as well. She says it is incredibly hard to work from home, especially as the kids get older. You aren't alone in your feelings. I frequently question our decision for me to stay at home and wonder if it would be better for me to work. But I always end up feeling like I'm doing what I need to do now. I think it is good to question these decisions occasionally because it causes us to evaluate where we are and what our families need. In the end, you love your babies and they know it, even if you don't spend as much time with them as you would like.
I love your posts and how real you are. It is so nice to know that I'm not alone in this whole figuring-out-how-to-be-the-best-mom journey.
I don't know which situation is "best" but I think you are a great mom and those kids are growing up quite well! So you seem to have a handle on things!
I think wherever you are in life there is always going to be the nagging question "Would it be better if?". I think one of the most important things to do is to weigh out your options, make a decision, and once you make one pour yourself into it. I agree with Jen in that I think it's important to continually ask yourself these questions because what was the best decision for you and your family at one time might not be the case later on. But you're on top of it, you're in touch with those tough questions. I know that your children benefit greatly from their mommy interactions no matter how limited it may feel at times.
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