I just want to sleep today. Feeling a bit sickly, and puppy sitting is quite the workout!

My poor Freddy Monster got his first rejection letter today. He did not get placed in the pre-k program here at our neighborhood elementary. I am spitfire mad because the coordinator at the school told me not to worry and that they hadn't turned away kids in years. Revelations 21:8 on her face (sorry, you know I don't really mean this)! The lady at the registration office was shocked that someone told me that because she said they have had to run a lottery for at least the past 10 years for our school's pre-k program. There were only 54 kids in the Little Rock School District placed on waiting lists for pre-k, and 18 of those were for our school. Poor Fredster, we wouldn't have psyched him up and shown him the school and bought a stinkin sit'n stand stroller so I could take him back and forth since yes indeed we still only have one car...if we hadn't been made to feel so confident in his placement. So, it's a little sad around here. I even cried a little, especially when he said, "But Mama, I wanna go to my big cool." Poor baby, and dumb mom for getting his little hopes all up!

I wonder what they mean.

Do you ever have dreams that you have left your kids at home by themselves for some crazy unknown reason and you are rushing, fighting, trying to get back home, all the time in a frenzy of panic and fear? I have had several of these, but now I've had them two nights in a row. They start out peaceful, like I'm just out doing something like taking a run or shopping and then realize what I've done and start to freak out. Any interpretations?

We decided to pay off several credit cards and kept about a quarter of our return for things we needed that we would have otherwise been tempted to put on a credit card. Ya know? We had several small credit accounts that we tend to pay off once a year, but got out of that habit last year. So, in all we are saving $140 a month now, and only have 2 actual credit cards left with a balance. We still have a Dell bill (as you may remember from my computer rant a couple months ago), and a credit line with the dentist, and maybe one more thing but I can't remember. I feel good about the money we are going to save each month, but that is about to go straight into health insurance for the kids come August. At least we have it now, before we didn't!

Jason had an interview at Bryant High for an English position, but we don't believe that he got it. He will probably get a "thanks, but no thanks" letter soon. We are very disappointed about this, because it offered a lot of hope for our current situation. Jason works about 45 minutes from home, which makes it nearly impossible to get enough sleep or enough family time. It also puts a serious strain on the car, the ONE car we have. It is a 3.5 hour ordeal for me to take him to work in the morning, come home, then go back and get him and come home in the evenings. So, that RARELY happens and when it does, I seriously want to cry. I have no time to do anything in between the driving and meals/naps/work. None! So, if he were working only 15 minutes from home, things could have been a lot better. Not to mention the gas! Oh well, God has a reason and His own timing that I've learned to trust. It just takes me a bit to get over my own plans.

Sorry to be a downer today after my fun knitting and running post. I did get new shoes (part of the things we "needed") but they are too big so I have to exchange them and then I'll post pictures. I went to Easy Runner in Little Rock and they did the video of me running and looked at my foot strike and evaluated what type of shoe I needed. It was pretty awesome, minus the running on the sidewalk with Panera patrons for an audience! ;)

One hole, and another on the other side carefully hidden!

Very crooked rows

Still though, not too shabby for my first try!

Life at the Allen house has been quite a bustle of activity and somehow still pretty peaceful. Dear Rachel has been staying with us for a few months and we really enjoy having her here. I think all families should have more than two adults. I'm not talking polygamy, just some communal living. :) The kids also enjoying having Aunt Rachel around, whether she wants them or not, there they are wanting some hugs & kisses, cuddles, and lots of her attention. I can't believe she hasn't run screaming yet!

The past 6ish weeks now, Rachel and I have been on a couch to 5K running plan. This was inspired by Manda G. Money. We are on our sixth week of the program but we started out doing sort of our own thing. Last Saturday we walked 5, ran 20! I thought I would NEVER make it, but I did and even kept going a little longer to get to the end of the street. This week we're back at intervals, to wrap up the week with a walk 5, run 25! We're going to run the Paws on the Pavement 5K on May 15th at Murray Park. It benefits CARE for animals and is one of the cheaper to enter, so I thought it would be a good start. At my current pace, it will probably take 40 minutes to run, but I have three weeks to work on it. I don't expect miracles though, and if you know me, you know that I am overweight and completely not in shape. So, the fact that I got off the couch amazed me. Six weeks ago I could barely run 1 minute, so I feel like a super hero no matter what. I also started some free Yoga videos from Comcast On Demand. There is a beginner one that is pretty awesome, but SO HARD! I have mucho respecto for you yoga folks. It's rough!

In other news, I started a knitting class through the Arkansas Extended Learning Center last night! They have some really awesome looking classes. I have always wanted to know how to knit. I decided knitting was more for me, because I like the way knitted things look more than I do crochet. I feel like I can produce more things I will love by knitting. It's also so romantic and wonderful, the clacking of the knitting needles, the image of a sweet grandmother rocking her way through a baby blanket or a pair of mittens. You remember my post about wanting a grandma, but in her absence, I will be my own. It's my goal to be an old lady by the time I'm 30. I have three years to master knitting, quilting, and canning!

On the knitting front, I was so worried at first and felt like I was in Algebra class. It was okay though once the instructor showed us everything about 500 times. The slip knot was almost the hardest thing, then I learned to cast on, then the knit stitch. My swatch so far looks so awful. It has several holes in it and the rows are super crooked. There has been no clacking yet, more cursing really. I had bought acrylic yarn to start with, but it hurt my fingers so I bought some cotton on the way home. I don't think I'll ever knit with wool or acrylic, because I LOVE the cotton. I will post pictures of my terrible swatch and hopefully my new running shoes if I ever get them.

Why do you create such dissonance for me? There are so many irresponsible things to do with you and so many options for the "right" thing to do? I know, waaa, right?

Let's Take a Poll, what should we do with our tax return? A portion will be tithed and a portion is already paying for Jason's non-traditional licensure program & Praxis III. So, here are the options. You'd be amazed what you can get back when you have two kids in one year! What do you say?

1) Purchase used car or van since we only have one vehicle and it could not fit another child in it if we had one (granted, it probably wouldn't be a super nice one with what we could afford and it would increase our monthly bills w/gas & insurance costs)

2) Pay off all of our credit cards and put the rest in savings (therefore reducing our monthly bills)

3) Half on credit cards, 1/4 in savings, 1/4 on home improvements

4) Pay back family members money we have borrowed with a "pay back when you can" line of credit...not that we could entirely, but a good chunk.

4) Vacation, clothes, a tv for the bedroom, patio furniture, yard beautification, knitting class/supplies, buy my mom a plane ticket to visit us, new running shoes, you know, all that jazz!

5) Some combination of the above..suggestions welcome.

I returned to the world of facebook on Easter Sunday after the season of Lent came to a close. Like I said before, I've never participated in Lent and thought of something that was sucking my time and energy away from God, family, and work. Facebook immediately came to mind. However, I learned that Facebook was never the problem. I am the problem!

I would sign on five or six times a day to see if anyone commented on my status, updated new pictures, or wrote on my wall. They rarely did, but that didn't stop me. I used it as a distraction or a stalling mechanism when I didn't want to commit myself to the next task in front of me. Durin Lent I logged on to my blogger account more often, but it wasn't as easy to get distracted. I did get more done, and I did feel like I was being a better steward of my time. I did not calculate up how much time I spent on Facebook and spend it in quiet time or meditation. Maybe that's the problem?! No, if anything I missed Facebook because it is a community. It's not feasible that I can keep up with the goings on of my college friends, old high school buddies, old co-workers, current co-workers, Jason's law school friends, and the other smattering of people that I am "friends" with on Facebook. At least not via phone or email or in-person meetings. I know people criticize these "cyber" relationships, but isn't something better than nothing? I missed pictures of people's babies and news of engagements, wedding dates, jokes, opportunities to support and encourage people, and so many other things. I think that in a lot of ways Facebook helps us live in a small town again. I missed my small town, but now I know that once or twice a day is probably just fine to keep up with everything. Now I know that most people assume that if you're in their Facebook family that you know what they have posted and are keeping up with the happenings of their public lives. It's seriously like assuming that your neighbors know that you broke curfew and got grounded, and that your teachers at school know too. It's a small town, everybody knows! For those of you with 1,000 friends...not so much, and I do not envy your news feed!

P.S. I do not and will not participate in any of the facebook games. I think I tried to play BeJeweled once but quickly gave up. I will not plant crops or find lonely cows or sheep on my farm, and I will not participate in Mafia Wars or accept any requests for strange apps or groups that I know nothing about. I'm a crotchety old cat lady in my small town! ;)

I met with my advisor today for the first time in 22 months to talk about completing my master's project. Yup, my actual master's degree is hanging on one final project, paper, and defense. I've had a really good reason or two for my delay, but it's time to get back on the horse. I feel very overwhelmed and I have to find internal motivation because my degree is not going to make me get paid anymore or make me more employable. Not that I even want that. I love the job I have, the place I work for, and the place I work from...home! I just have to finish this for whatever my future holds, for my own edification, and because Jason says we can't have any more babies until I finish it! ;) That's pretty good motivation! Any words of encouragement or wisdom about the dreaded Institutional Review Board???

HAPPY EASTER!!!!

I am posting just to make people hungry.

There's a honey baked ham in the oven getting all toasty, about to be glazed with even more brown sugar and a mixture of butter & pineapple juice.

The sweet potatoes are all cooked and glazed with brown sugar, cinnamon, and a little nutmeg.

The green beans are bundled, wrapped in bacon, glazed with guess what....yup more brown sugar, salt & pepper.

The homemade yeast rolls are rising underneath their cloths, keeping warm on top of the stove.

The eggs are dyed and the Easter baskets are all wrapped & ribboned, where will we hide them?

Now, what should I wear?? ;)

13 minutes...must keep going!