We found out we were pregnant at the beginning of November, the Tuesday before our 10th anniversary. The next week was sort of surreal. You know, it just takes awhile to really believe you are pregnant. Then I started spotting, not much, just a little. No cramping. My midwife advised to just take it easy, no running, maybe just a walk, don't push myself. I kept spotting for almost two weeks. I called the OB so I could go ahead and do my first visit and do blood work and all that stuff and mentioned the spotting. They said to come in at nine weeks to do an ultrasound just to make sure everything was ok, but no panic. This was all a little difficult to deal with, being a bit of a control freak. Then, the night before Thanksgiving I laid in bed and prayed for God to please take my worry away. I prayed for faith and peace and told God that I knew He was in control and prayed to please help me stop worrying because I wanted to enjoy this pregnancy and my blessings. The next morning I stopped spotting! No more spots. I have not quite found a comfortable way to interpret how that prayer was answered but I have found gratitude for a Thanksgiving with my family that was full of hope and excitement about next year rather than full of worry and fear.
In the next week or so I found out that a couple I adore was expecting, only two weeks behind me! I had to tell them that we were pregnant too. So exciting! I went in for that nine week ultrasound witha heavy heart though and I remember praying in the bathroom as I changed into the gown. Then it happened. December 13th we found no heartbeat and I only measured at about six weeks. I cried on the table and even in my sadness felt so badly for the ultrasound tech who was powerless to help or even explain anything. We were sent straight to my doctor's office. Here's an excerpt of that experience that I wrote on my phone through tears trying not to look up too often and scare the other patients.