Get ready for too much disclosure! I'm having one, a hopeless moment where I've worked my way into a pit of despair. Most of the ti...

Hopeless Moment

Get ready for too much disclosure! I'm having one, a hopeless moment where I've worked my way into a pit of despair. Most of the time I keep the reality of finances and the lack of healthcare neatly wrapped up in a bow of denial and a stupid grin that says, "God will take care of it!" Yes, I say it is a stupid grin, because God doesn't seem all that interested in finding me or my kids an affordable health insurance plan. It's probably one of those things where He's telling me that he takes care of the birds and the flowers and they don't worry, so why do I!? I was removed from my benefits plan & moved to part time at work in order to start working from home. I'm not hating or anything, because it's been one of the most wonderful blessings ever! It's just unfortunate that no benefits was actually considered a "selling point" in order to make the work from home situation even happen. At first, I thought that it would be okay. I thought we would surely find an affordable private option. Nope, not the case. We don't qualify for Medicaid now that Jason is teaching and to put all of us on his plan is close to $800 a month. Does anyone have an extra mortgage on a small home laying around every month?! We've called and applied for all sorts of plans and they are all too expensive or offer basically no coverage. I can't get the good ol' Arkansas Blue to cover me because of infertility issues.

I know this is a downer, and I'm sorry. I am just so angry that our ravenous need for capitalist profit has created a money sucking drain hole out of what I consider a basic need, to get help when you are sick! The only reason anybody needs health insurance is in case something happens, something big. Doctor's visits really aren't that expensive and even if you went once a month, it won't cost you as much as paying for insurance. With the plans I've seen, the health insurance company (at least on private plans) doesn't pay anything out until you've paid in anywhere from $5-$10 thousand dollars in deductibles/copays/coinsurance anyway, and if somebody has ten thousand dollars to put towards health insurance, odds are they could afford to pay for whatever big happened anyway! So, the only way to get out of this hopeless moment is to go back into denial. One of us needs a second job in order to pay for health insurance, because we can't imagine going bankrupt and losing our home and car and everything else if that something "big" did happen. We certainly can't pay for additional childcare and healthcare, and we certainly can't even begin to consider having another child when I have no coverage and we don't qualify for Medicaid. I can't imagine seeing less of my husband either, and we just keep pushing it off and away because it is too painful and disgusting and hopeless to think about very often. I guess this is being an adult, realizing that no matter how hard you work, or how much you think your kids deserve something, or how much pain and anxiety you feel, nobody is going to hand you anything and nothing is going to be "fair." So, my sweet babies, please don't get sick, and dear God, if you can't fix this now for whatever reason, please don't let the "something big" happen!

8 comments:

Miss W said...

Hey, I know we are nowhere near each other politically. :) But I do understand where you're coming from. My dad had to have open-heart surgery in February and he had no medical insurance whatsoever. As of right now, he has over $100,000 in medical debt. Can he pay it? It's doubtful. The good thing about medical debt is that as long as you pay SOMETHING, they won't sic the dogs on you. So my dad is paying $50 to $100 a month to each creditor. At this rate, he'll pay it off sometime after he's dead.

He has had some lovely lovely people and churches give him money to help, and it has helped, but the rest depends on God, because who else is there? We don't have a rich uncle.

YES, the medical system is BROKEN. In the Philippines, a person can have hip replacement surgery for $2000. Here, not so much. Costs are through the roof. Something's gotta give.

All that is to say that I sympathize.

Pediddlepie said...

Thanks, friend! I will definitely remember to pray for God to keep providing what your family needs to "keep the dogs off." It's so scary!

Can said...

I think insurance is a load of crap!! All I can offer are prayers that eventually you guys will get an answer to your prayers. It just doesn't seem fair that people are forced to go into debt to "prepare" for the worst. My MIL pays $600 a month for my BIL's health insurance...alone! And you're right...another mortgage for sure.

Kristina said...

I'm sorry lady friend. I hate that you guys are dealing with this and wish I knew a way to make it better. I agree with the others, it sucks that our system is so jacked up.

Kristina said...

I'm sorry lady friend. I hate that you guys are dealing with this and wish I knew a way to make it better. I agree with the others, it sucks that our system is so jacked up.

ainmemphis said...

John and I have searched private plans as well in the event he quits his job. We found some that were low monthly with high deductibles (and no maternity coverage, but we won't need it) BUT the deductable is nowhere near the amount you would pay if you were hospitalized for any reason. "our" belief is that we would rather pay 5000 out of pocket than declare bankruptcy later or have 100's of thousands hanging over us our whole life. I know each family opperates differently and we live in an imperfect world so keep on keeping on and maybe one day healthcare will be better!

Geidlbots said...

Here's an idea I'm sure you've considered...but I have no idea.

What about an inexpensive major medical plan for your family? That covers big stuff generally. Or a Health Savings Account? That way, you can put money into it, and it is there for sick visits, etc. I am sorry it sucks. I wish there were more answers. But, your Father does know what you need. Look to Him for today. Tomorrow has enough trouble of its own. He will take care of you.

Jen said...

We are so dealing with insurance issues right now too. It is such a mess and I know that hopeless feeling. I'm praying for you guys :)