Soon

Soon, life will go back to a normal I never really expected for my life. Three kids, a husband, a dog, a home to keep, and a full time job as a stinkin' supervisor at an organization that I adore. As I've gone through this maternity leave, it's been a lot different for me emotionally. I haven't cried yet about going back to work. There isn't that aching wish/hope/dream that something miraculous will happen and I can stay at home with the kids. Gracious, not that I don't want to, but I have finally accepted that it's not going to happen for me. I don't even mean this in some cynical defeatist type of way. It's just that God has worked out in me that my job is a gift. Somehow I was able to work at home for over a year and enjoy my sweet babies, watch Addie learn to walk, nurse her until she was 16 months old, teach Freddie his ABCs and all their sounds, teach him how to count to 10 at least :), potty train Addie, and eventually become pregnant and spend my first trimester able to rest at home! That was a truly wonderful time, but not without significant sacrifice and hardship. I often struggled with guilt while I was working that my kids would be better off at daycare where someone could pay more attention to them or they would have friends to play with. It's just never perfect as a mom I guess, we're always wanting more and better for our kids even when it is too much for us to do or provide.

So, on August 22nd, I'm heading back to work. This past Monday, I took Freddie to his first day of kindergarten. Life is so busy. 5:30 wakeup, shower, get dressed, fix hair/makeup; 6:00 nurse Charlie and pray she goes back to sleep; 6:30 get breakfast ready for kids & me, load up car with bags, computer, backpacks, etc. 6:45 wake up kids, brush teeth, get them dressed, hand them to-go breakfasts, brush hair, potty, etc; 7:05 OUT THE DOOR OR ELSE ; 7:15 drop Freddie off at school; 7:20 drop girls off at daycare; 7:30 head to work! This week has been good practice. All of it is just crazy and all on about 5 hours of sleep a night. It's amazing the stamina that God can provide to us when we are doing His work. I have to believe that raising a family, serving them, teaching God's love, and sharing that loving family with your community is truly God's work! I am sure I will blog more as an outlet for how badly it will hurt to send my new baby girl to daycare and how Addie is acting out now that she's not getting enough Mommy time, and how Freddie wailing at the kitchen table with his poor lefthanded handwriting problems!

P.S. I am watching A Baby Story and this woman is a weenie! ;) HAHAHA!