Yep, the trial has been rescheduled again. How silly is that? November 16th is the new date, just in time for Thanksgiving!

Goings on round here: Kids are big, Freddie is a nutty soccer player who appears to come down with a severe case of ADHD on the soccer field! Adeline is obsessed with her new baby doll that Daddy bought her. Obsessed to the point of fit throwing and worrying herself to death over its well being. Can you say, "overdeveloped toddler maternal instincts!"

So far, I've had no hits on my banners. I've sold a couple of my bows, well four to be exact. I used that money to pay a portion of my MOPS dues. I joined a women's group at a local church where I took the kids to a summer play group and I really like it. We're reading a book called Momology and I think it's just good food for my mom soul. Then I have a Bible/Book Study every other Wednesday night with ladies from our church that is a Manda soul feeder and just a great opportunity to be involved and get to know my church sisters better. I also joined the Women's Club of Otter Creek which meets once a month and hosts several community events. It's definitely not my normal cup of tea, but I'm trying to branch out and just be me even in a forum that doesn't always fit my style. I'm not a type A person, and despite my cheery demeanor (usually...), I'm also not an extrovert. Those personality tests always depend on my mood and I'm usually right in between one or the other. I just don't fit, so my decision is that since I don't fit anywhere, I can fit everywhere!! ;) I think its important for women to be exposed to lots of different types of personalities. I've know the Type A'ers my whole life and even chose a major in college filled with that type and often disappeared behind them until it came test or paper time. Then...I'm totally type A, like the type that better make an A! People who think they have it all under control need a reality check just as much as people who feel completely overwhelmed all the time. Nobody is perfect and talents are just as valuable whether they come for overbearing Olivia or meek Melissa!

What do you think? Isn't there room for a more reserved, shy, worker bee, with a surprise in every group? I've met a lot of women in the past year that surprise me constantly. I met someone who seems kind of, what's the word...mousey? Yes, that's it. Then, she opens her mouth and speaks brilliance and exudes confidence. I met one of those beautiful gals, super fashionable, high heels, perfect hair and nails, and then she's the most demure, sweet, and mild mannered person that often shrinks into the background to let someone else shine. I wonder how people categorize me, do you wonder that? We're reading The Me I Want to Be by John Ortberg in our book study and I really love it so far. I would totally suggest it to anyone, especially those who feel like I do. I often feel that I don't fit and I struggle to be different/better than I am, but Ortberg argues that God created our personalities and gifts to be used in a perfect way. God wants us to be the "best version of ourselves" not of someone else! God needs shy people and followers as much as he loved leaders. God will not scorn us for failing to be meek if we are natural leaders. I just love the truth of it and the edification of the body of Christ instead of this often constant message that we aren't good enough, we should do more, tithe more, read more, give more, volunteer more, witness more, on and on. Be you, and be the absolute best You that God intended and created You for. Lovely, I say, lovely!

I'm glad that Freddie is finally learning and understanding his letters and sounds. I'm glad that he is comprehending that numbers equal amounts of things and that he is on the verge of being able to count to 10 without forgetting 7! This is amazing progress because six months ago he only knew 4 or 5 letters and maybe one sound that was just memory rather than actually understanding how letters and sounds work. Oh that was a hard one. He could not consistently count to 5 and was so easily frustrated. Now he can happily sit down for lesson time and is proud of himself when he gets it right. Freddie is even able to recognize some words now, thank you Dr. Seuss!

Our biggest struggle is definitely going to be handwriting. We are working from a book by Kumon that seems pretty similar to the Handwriting Without Tears program. It starts with horizontal and vertical lines, then diagonal, then curves and circles. Instead of working on the letters in order, it categorizes them by the types of lines and the difficulty. The problem here though is that Freddie is left handed and I'm not. Thankfully, my mother-in-law is left handed and can give me some tricks on helping him.

The book itself though is written for a right handed person, and I am not of the mindset that left handed folks should learn to write just like everyone else. I mean, if its true that his preferred writing hand is actually linked to the areas of his brain that he's tapped into, why would I want to fight it? So, when the book says to draw an "A" by starting at #1 (located at the top point) and go to the stop sign (located at the end of the first leg) by moving your hand from the top of the A to the bottom...Freddie would naturally want to move his hand from the bottom of the second leg, move to the top, then down to create the first leg, then from right to left to cross them. Unfortunately, he also wants to follow the book but he physically has such a hard time and it is far from smooth. I know it's a process, but maybe there are left handed handwriting books out there somewhere. Maybe he'll embrace his different style and stop insisting on following the numbers! I'm still glad though, glad that he is sweet, glad that he told me today while trying to draw a circle, "I think I'm having some trouble here." I'm glad that he loves Toy Story and has agreed excitedly to let me make his and Addie's Halloween costumes so they can be Woody and Jessie, and glad that he is wearing a pirate hat right now. I'm glad that Addie insists every color is pink and does everything her big brother teaches her. I'm just glad, pleased, grateful, and oh just wait for it....content! Thank you, Jesus, and help me continue in contentment today and tomorrow!

Yup, up a pound since two weeks ago when I weighed last. That was not how it was supposed to go. However, I can not be too discouraged because we had a crazy haywire nutty cheat weekend over labor day. It was Jason's birthday and many others including 3 cakes that I baked for special folks. Let me give you a rundown of our weekend/week in food.

Saturday Night: Benihana Date Night Sushi and Double order of Hibachi Fried Rice ($30 gift certificate for the birthday boy!)

Sunday Night: Amanda's Infamous Spaghetti with Italian Sausage and Garlic Bread

Monday
Breakfast at IHOP-Chicken Fried Steak & 1 Pancake
Lunch: Cookout at Nana's, homemade mac n' cheese, hamburgers, new potatoes with butter, honeybun cake
Dinner: Marketplace, sweet potato fries drenched in brown sugar and butter, creamed spinach, fried shrimp, crab cake, chocolate mess --DEATHH!!!
Party: Homemade Dark Chocolate Hershey's Cake with Butter Roux Icing (you may remember this as the BittyBetty HoHo Cake)

Tuesday: Hummus with whole grain pita chips...and seriously I think that's all I ate all day!

Wednesday: Strict Diet

Thursday: Homemade Dark Chocolate Hershey's Cake with ButterCream Icing (Rachel's Birthday) This one turned out soooo delicious!

Friday: Sushi dinner with friends of Rachel- bday dinner

Saturday:
Lunch: German chocolate cake with sweetened condensed milk poured in while hot topped with coconut pecan icing (Sister's Bday Cake!)

Dinner- Kristina's Bday dinner delicioso- Ciao Baci deliciousness with a Pomegranate Martini (we were too toasted after the first one to order more!), Baci Schnitzel, and handmade gnocchi in a cream sauce, all of this preceded by baked bries in puff pastries stuffed with walnuts, apples, figs, and caramelized onions

Then I managed to stay clean from last Sunday to now...but I say that if I only gained one pound from all that, it's kind of a miracle!! ;) I am not eating another ounce of sugar or processed, bleached flour product until Halloween! I was honestly sick after Jason's birthday extravaganza and thought about how those things were just a normal part of life before I made my declaration of independence from fatness. Gross, but I would eat Ciao Baci all the time if I had the money and be fat and happy!

Oooh that sounds ominous, huh? :) I felt compelled to blog about a recent discussion that God and I had while I was in the shower. It is sometimes the only quiet part of my week (I say this because I only get to shower about 3-4 times a week!). So, I really think God uses it to find me calm and peaceful so that He can be heard.

We are set to go to trial AGAIN on the 30th of this month. I don't know if it will happen or what will be the final outcome. If you remember my last post about this, I was angry and hurt because I felt like nobody was going to pay or have any consequence for what happened to sweet Freddie. This idea came to my head again as I was scrubbing out the oil with some delicious Aveda Shampure. Then it was like God just obliterated me and my petty thoughts. He said to me, "This has already been paid for, in full. Jesus already paid and suffered the consequences for what happened to Freddie." WHAT??!!! Say, huh? Jesus became sin on the cross and he paid for my sins and the sins of the world so that we could be clean and holy and enter the kingdom of heaven. I know this, but surely not this? Surely He missed one?

NO!! Jesus became EVERY single sin that was ever or will ever be committed against anyone. It is still painful for me to think of, but I need no retribution. There will be no earthly justice good enough to please God. My Father has forgiven me and His grace can cover even this with the blood of Jesus. My prayers should be focused that the person who almost killed Freddie would repent, acknowledge the sin, accept Christ, and enter into the Kingdom of Heaven, that Christ's payment and death for our sin would not be in vain.

I will always be mindful of this, especially as I enter the courtroom. What beautiful peace God was able to bring me, and devastation again realizing the weight of what Jesus carried for us. As he died on the cross, he became those actions, those mighty blows against my son, He became the impact that separated Freddie's gallbladder and the blood that seeped into his body, Jesus became the bruises, the belt, the extension cords, the hand and arm holding the weapons of pain against Freddie's tiny two year old body. He became the anger, ignorance, and rage that it took to carry these things out. Jesus became those things while enduring His own agony and He did not break, because my Jesus knew His sacrifice would cover even this and we would know our God. I would be Freddie's mom and we would protect him. I can not ask for anymore retribution than that, there is no other penance or payment that would so entirely compensate. Thank you, Lord.

$12 for knitted cap

$8 for Knitted Bow Headbands, $5 for babies and kids.

Ask me about colors and yarn options!

EMAIL TO ORDER: amandaarallen@gmail.com

This blog needs some of that levity business. It's a horrible movie though, don't put it in your Netflix queue. Right now is a beautiful moment in my week because both of my children are happily playing in Addie's room. They are together, but not fighting. They are not crying or complaining, in fact, they are both sitting in a pile of books "reading." Neither of them has needed me for at least 10 minutes despite the fact that I walked by the doorway to check on their silent selves. Every now and then Addie will come into the hall and blow me a kiss.

So far, this has not happened at all this week or in a few. When Jason is home, they often entertain themselves, especially when it is just him. Not with me though, I'm wayyy too popular among the tots. It has been a little rough lately with the sibling rivalry and a very clingy 20 month old. I am very much enjoying this few minutes and I'm looking forward to some quality time with them today. I've promised myself after this rough week that I will not say anything negative about them or to them today (besides "No" anyway!). As much as I joke about them being "rotten," "wild," "crazy," "hooligans," "driving me crazayyy," la la la etc. I really don't want them to ever think that about themselves. They are getting older, especially my Fredster and he can hear and understand these words. So, here's to creating a positive self-image for my children and a happy, content, mom full of praise for her babies. Thank you, Lord, for my children. Help me be a better steward of my time, my wisdom, and my opportunities to shape their lives and identities towards you!

Well, Addie has brought me a baby doll wrapped up in a blanket....and I see a brown streak of leaky poo on her pants, so it's time to go!

Please pray with me for this sweet baby girl. She was born on September 4th, to my dad and his new 30 year old wife (oh and yes...this 30 year old wife is Russian, but I am pretty sure he didn't buy her off the internet or anything, so no fears there). I am honestly heart broken for this precious miracle of life. I do not even know what to pray for. Mostly, I hope that my dad has changed somehow, that through the loss of his relationship with his daughter and grandson (me and Freddie) that he has realized that his behavior, abuse, and alcoholism is not going to cut it. I hope that he is loving to this child and his new wife. It doesn't seem so, based on what I've heard from his contact with my sister. I can still hope though.

I want to pray that this woman realizes the monster that my dad really is and leaves him as soon as possible and seeks refuge with her own family. I want to pray that this little girl never even knows my dad so that he can not emotionally or physically hurt her the way he has EVERYONE in my family. I just can not believe in all the world that my loving God would allow this man to reproduce, again. I know He did though, and there must be a reason. Please pray with me that God protect this baby and her mother. She is an innocent, beautiful gift, and she does not deserve the life my siblings and I had. I wish so badly that I could hold her and protect her. She is not one ounce of my blood (this being my "ex" step-dad and all), but that instinct to shield her and protect her as I do my own brother and sister is still there. I am in tears right now thinking of how I will never know her and she may never have the support of her brother and sisters to help her through the pain she will so likely endure from that man. Part of me has a terrible guilt, that if I had only done enough, pressed charges against him, ruined his life, put him in jail, anything, that he may not have been able to hurt anyone again. I never seem to be strong enough, always doling out mercy and subscribing to this unabashed hope that he'd just be my dad again somehow. How broken I am, my Father, still not content with my Heavenly dad, wishing and crying over the loss of my earthly one. Please just pray, whatever God speaks to your heart, whatever you feel is right. I know there is power in prayer, no matter hopeless I feel. Pray for sweet Natasha.

Okay, so only one response on my banners. I know folks have had time to look. So, feedback, too expensive, not interested, need better pictures, could make it yourself? Tell me! Let friends know too if you want. See, this is why I haven't bothered in the past, the disappointment isn't really any fun. It's more fun to just make something for someone and give it to them as a gift. SO, idea, I'll make it for you to give to someone else as a gift! Problem solved!

Anyway, tomorrow is Jason's 29th birthday! He lucks out and gets a birthday on Labor Day this year. I tried a new cake recipe. Hershey's Deep Dark Chocolate Cake. It's supposed to be a breeze to make. Not so much for the baking challenged. It calls for 1/2 cup boiling water & 1/2 cup brewed coffee (well, folks suggest using half water/half coffee anyway). Here's what I did wrong, I added the boiling ingredients before I mixed the eggs and milk in with the dry stuff for two minutes instead of after. Then, I wasn't able to immediately transfer the mix to the baking pans because I had to give some grimey children a nice bubble bath before bed. So, when I finally got around to baking them, I guess the magic had worn off. The cakes taste alright, but ended up being more like bland brownies. I made a new type of frosting called Butter Roux which has a light fluffy texture, but it isn't as good as buttercream by any means. Over all, I'm sad with the turnout. I feel like I made a big HoHo Cake. Hopefully, Jason will once again eat my creation with a big smile and pretend it's delicious no matter what! If I make Butter Roux again I'm using vanilla instead of almond extract, it keeps reminding me of those HUGE salon/economy size things of Almond Shampoo that my mom used to have when she worked as a hairdresser. Who wants to eat shampoo? Here's to hoping that the rest of his birthday todos will turn out better! You know, sometimes it makes me sad that I probably won't get a home baked cake for my birthday again any time soon (I refuse to bake my own birthday cake, it's not right), but poor Jason might prefer a delicious creation from Mickey's Bakery over this BittyBetty (instead of LittleDebbie) snack cake I made!

I've decided to see if friends and family would be interested in buying some of my crafts. It always seems so crazy to me that anyone would want to buy things I sewed in my bedroom. Then tons of folks suggest it and I have finally decided to just go for it. I'd like to start putting some extra money back for the Holidays. Not necessarily for gifts, but for the extra groceries, goodies, decorating, baking, and outings like the Pumpkin Patch, The Christmas Tree Farm, hayrides, homemade fudge, cookies, stockings, oh the wonderful things that are headed our way soooo soon!

There are lots of things that I've made, but my banners have been the most popular. Here are a few that I've made so far.

Here's Addie's. It's kind of shabby chic, lots of girly colors but with flowers, gingham, and vine prints. There are several font options too.

This one I made for a friend's daughter and it is my favorite so far! I used more of a typewriter font and created a really clean stencil. This is more of a girly mod with lots of pink and brown. The middle space has a handpainted butterfly with the little girl's initial painted onto a wing.

This is my sweet Freddie's banner. It is adorable, lots of primary colors, some paw prints, and don't forget those Hogs!

So, for the details. I can do birthday banners and even personalized ones with names, just name banners for a child's room or even a dorm room! I'm also going to make some holiday banners. If you'd like a cooky one for Halloween or a Merry Christmas banner, I can do it. I may even try a "Welcome" banner in the front hallway! The banners are made from cotton fabric, each scallop is backed with a solid coordinating color, and the hangers are created using cotton binding tape. The loops are about 4 inches long making it easy to hang anywhere! The best part about these banners is that they will last and can be passed down to use every year. It's a very special, personal gift to give or decoration for your own home. I have loved making them. I got the idea from a book that I love but have created my own process and special touches to make them unique.

Banner: $30
Add a Name: $5

Just email, facebook, or comment here if you want one.
We can discuss the colors/theme/event, etc. I think these can fit just about anyone's needs! Thanks everyone, send your friends a link to the blog and I'll try and post more pictures as I get another one finished.