Please pray with me for this sweet baby girl. She was born on September 4th, to my dad and his new 30 year old wife (oh and yes...this 30 ...

Pray with me


Please pray with me for this sweet baby girl. She was born on September 4th, to my dad and his new 30 year old wife (oh and yes...this 30 year old wife is Russian, but I am pretty sure he didn't buy her off the internet or anything, so no fears there). I am honestly heart broken for this precious miracle of life. I do not even know what to pray for. Mostly, I hope that my dad has changed somehow, that through the loss of his relationship with his daughter and grandson (me and Freddie) that he has realized that his behavior, abuse, and alcoholism is not going to cut it. I hope that he is loving to this child and his new wife. It doesn't seem so, based on what I've heard from his contact with my sister. I can still hope though.

I want to pray that this woman realizes the monster that my dad really is and leaves him as soon as possible and seeks refuge with her own family. I want to pray that this little girl never even knows my dad so that he can not emotionally or physically hurt her the way he has EVERYONE in my family. I just can not believe in all the world that my loving God would allow this man to reproduce, again. I know He did though, and there must be a reason. Please pray with me that God protect this baby and her mother. She is an innocent, beautiful gift, and she does not deserve the life my siblings and I had. I wish so badly that I could hold her and protect her. She is not one ounce of my blood (this being my "ex" step-dad and all), but that instinct to shield her and protect her as I do my own brother and sister is still there. I am in tears right now thinking of how I will never know her and she may never have the support of her brother and sisters to help her through the pain she will so likely endure from that man. Part of me has a terrible guilt, that if I had only done enough, pressed charges against him, ruined his life, put him in jail, anything, that he may not have been able to hurt anyone again. I never seem to be strong enough, always doling out mercy and subscribing to this unabashed hope that he'd just be my dad again somehow. How broken I am, my Father, still not content with my Heavenly dad, wishing and crying over the loss of my earthly one. Please just pray, whatever God speaks to your heart, whatever you feel is right. I know there is power in prayer, no matter hopeless I feel. Pray for sweet Natasha.

5 comments:

Jen said...

Bless you, Amanda. I can't even begin to understand, but you are so right, God has a plan for this sweet baby. And she will absolutely be in my prayers, as will you and the rest of your family.

Can said...

I have no words...except that I pray He will bless her and answer her prayers.

Geidlbots said...

She's teeny tiny and sweet. I am sorry. I am praying now for the sweet girl that God would be gracious to her and grant her peace instead strife.

Tina said...

What a terrible situation. Sending prayers and good thoughts your way!

ainmemphis said...

I still can't wrap my mind around this! Joining in the prayers!